Life: Oh What A Tangled Web

Um. Yeah...
Most of that was untangled and put in the Goodwill pile.

I'm still waiting on the Power of Attorney to find its way home from the desert so we can proceed with the closing. In the meantime, I am slowly untangling the rest of our belongings. Time is running out for me to accomplish all the things associated with moving and I fear you may witness a deterioration of Heather's scruples in direct parallel to the amount of time left. I put the pro in procrastination and consequently make myself, and everyone around me, a little nutty.

Get your popcorn and while you wait, have a go at Chatty & John's One Sentence NPC contest, and start brainstorming for the Adventure Writing Month.

Life: Our Neighbors Are Harboring An Elephant

I am very excited about owning a home that is not attached by any structure to another home.

As an aside, the closing date had to be shifted to July 2, because the judge insisted I must have the new original Power of Attorney. I sure hope it arrives in time for the new closing date.

We refer to the woman one floor below us as "The Crazy Catlady." She actually has more dogs than cats but we call her the catlady because she sometimes stands outside calling for her kitty in a very high pitched voice. "Keeeeeee, Keeeeeeeee!" I believe she owns an elephant in addition to her dogs and cat.

She is not very tall, nor very heavy, but I can feel her walking around her apartment through her ceiling. She stomps up and down the hall and across the living room. Items in my apartment rattle when she walks. I can feel it through the cushioning in my chair. I can feel it in my feet. I can hear it, thud, thud, thud. I can only imagine what it must sound like to the person living below her.

The other night, she was still stomping about the house after midnight. I heard someone beating on a door and stepped outside to see what the heck was going on. Her downstairs neighbor was standing in front of his own door saying "you need to be quiet." I assume, he was person responsible for the door banging. She was stomping up and down the stairs between her floor and his, repeating "Asshole, Asshole, Asshole." She also made some kind of comment about his needing to get a job (he has a job, otherwise a single guy could not afford $900 in rent, an undisclosed amount in utilities, to fill up his Dodge truck, and the kind of cute girls he brings around).

Right now, as I type this, I can feel her stomping about. She's disabled in some way (handicapped sign on the car) and does not work. She is home stomping all day long.

These two have feuded since the woman moved in. She lived in another building. I assume she moved from that building because the guy below her there likes to pretend he and his band are in his momma's garage all hours of the night. They open all the doors and windows and play very loud, drink beer, and curse loud enough to hear from a different building.

I am ready to have my own house completely unattached to this kind of thing. We'll just have disputes over leaves blowing into other people's yards and whatnot. The whole Betty and Wilma (Flintstones) or the Desperate Housewives Crew kind of neighborhood and neighborly attitudes just have not been in the cards for me.

** Edit **
I ran into the guy downstairs when I was out with my dogs this evening. The cops were in fact called the other night and she got herself a citation after refusing to allow the cops to get a word in when they were trying to talk to her. That explains the extra super heavy duty stomping I heard all day today - she knew he was home and was doing it to irritate him.

Also, she saw me out there talking to him. She and another walked off and stood at a distance watching me talk to the guy downstairs and pointing at us. I anticipate potential issues with the woman before I can get out of here - just for talking to a neighbor. See! See where talking to neighbors gets you?

Tack on to her post

A Side:

I read her post and wanted to expand on a few things that she commented on:

"Ideally, they will consider the fact he is in a war zone and how lucky we are that he was able to get to Balad to get new paperwork drawn up in the first place, and cut me some freakin slack."

All I can say on this is that they better. The fact that I was able to make it down to Balad in any kind of resonable time and get this done is a God send/ miracle. The next step in this is me calling them and they don't want that. My inability to not yell at imbeciles and dumbasses will rear its ugly head which will probably lead to me transferring myself through the phone lines, ala Matrix, and taking a huge bite out of some lawyers ass.

I understand the situation you're in; understand mine.

"I think about walls with colorful paint... I imagine picking out furniture and refinishing old pieces."

She asked me the other day if I had thought of this, and truthfully I have. I've thought about what I might want to do with the walls regarding color choices, but for me to really make a decision, I need to see the place. Although, I do know that I'm going to want one of the rooms red. Probably the small dining room, with the base boards and door frames being white.

There will also be a yellow and blue room too. Trust me, it'll work.

B Side:

The last time I saw Le Bleu, he'd just called me a retard. With that, he did the mime trick of hopping onto an invisible bike and peddled away while giving me the mime finger. Damn mimes on invisible bikes are fast!

Once I made it back to base I dug around in our super computers to see what information I could find about my dreaded nemesis. I had to do a lot of cross linking with other various agencies, and after a few weeks the "big picture" finally started to emerge. What I discovered was more horrifying than I had previously imagined!

It appears that the white pancake mix serves more than just to mask these people from public ridicule. The pancake mix serves as a second skin, a layer of deception, to hide the hideous truth; for beneath that white enamal of polished porcelin is something so shocking and horrifying that much like Pandora and her box, once it's out, it's out!

Readers... if there are small children, the elderly or people with spastic bowels in the room, please ask them to leave now!

Le Bleu unmasked with a rare picture of his second in command! Truely the threat is even graver than I imagined! Little did I know that a mime armada had parked itself just above the Earth, hovering over Quebec (aka Le Blue-land), just waiting for the chance to... well... I'm not sure what the heck they're waiting for but it can't be good! *personally I think it has something to do with croissants, cheese and short shorts on dudes, but I don't know just yet!

Fortunately I have America's best kept secret weapon to aide me. I think Lady Liberty can sleep easier knowing that her most trusted defenders of freedom will be hot on the pursuit of this ghost faced maniac.

I'll continue to track his movements and foil his simplistic plots of persuasion, but first this defender of freedom has to make a stop at the DFAC. It's Mexican night and they're serving cheese sticks. Momma said you can't fight mime armadas on an empty stomach and as we all know, momma knows best.


-M

Last night I saw that beauty queen
watched her paint her face on


*EDIT- apparently I need "a cock punch" for the pic I chose today. I just calls'em likes I sees'em folks! LOL ;)

Life: And All That That Implies

No thanks to the technical support of Bellsouth/AT&T, whatever it is they call themselves these days, I have internet again. I am not convinced that the connection is very stable though.

I had to reformat the C drive on my computer and reinstall Windows - and all that that implies: drivers, programs, etc. I have yet to install all that that implies. I think we have decided that one of the problems with the computer is related to a bad battery back up that everything was plugged into. I am not sure if that is the problem or just one of many.

The "legal fuckup" mentioned in a previous post continues to plague us a bit. I must have the original copy of the new Power of Attorney for Friday's closing. M informs me that all mail going out of a war zone is standard - no priority. This means it is highly unlikely I will have the original in hand by Thursday morning when I have to drive to South Carolina. The attorney said he cannot legally close the house without this paper, so I'm not sure how we will work this out just yet. Ideally, they will consider the fact he is in a war zone and how lucky we are that he was able to get to Balad to get new paperwork drawn up in the first place, and cut me some freakin slack. They have a scanned copy of the original sent from the attorney in Balad. I'll know more in a few days.

My thoughts have shifted to the future, in spite of these current pressing issues. I have started to imagine what life in our first house might be like. I think about walls with colorful paint (I've lived in military/apartment blah for a good 10 years). I think about once again having space to quilt, and a place to entertain people, a place for my outdoor swing. I imagine barbeques, tomato plants in pots, boys riding their bikes up and down the street, M standing in his workshop making something nice for the house. I imagine picking out furniture and refinishing old pieces.

I knew this was the house from the moment I walked in the front door. I made the offer and was in a Charleston yarn store looking for a rug to knit for our beautiful hardwood floors before the seller even had a chance to respond. I found the perfect balls of wool yarn on clearance. In the midst of dealing with these issues and the other implications of moving, I am working on this rug.

I am excited about making something for the new house. It is a typical braided rug. The braids are made of lengths of icord - 4 stitches, on a giant needle (US 19). The brown in the center will be repeated twice more, alternating with two bands of the contrast color. The colors are neutral, so they will be a nice accent with any crazy color scheme we ultimately decide to use.

Our ISP as of late

Quarterly ISP cost to the American taxpayer: 10 million smackers

Annual cost of WoW montly subscription: 180 smackers

Disconnecting during your first run with the new guild while they're trying to do new content because the ISP is run by incompetent jackasses which continues to make you look like a shitty player?


PRICELESS


For everything you don't want to do, Nashita it.


To say that I'm really really pissed about having my second raid in a week fucked up by our ISP due to problems on their end... well, I think I've made my feelings clear on that. They didn't even bother to call. Usually they see when we've dropped out and call to find out if it's something on their end. Didn't bother to call, wouldn't pick up when we called them... just lovely. Glad we got rid of the reliable American company to hand out even MORE money to a substandard provider. Awesome.

The mission impact on this was the intardnets just came up. Most of the work day without comm due to poor service provider. i r thrilled!


-M

Tired

I'm back. Lots of travel in the past 24 hours. Heather's computer has taken a power surge which has killed the DSL modem and we're not sure about the computer itself. It's on a surge protector but it's acting really funny now. Same ole shit.


-M

On the road again...

A Side:

Chalk it up to the legal eagles back at home station, but it has been brought to our attention that the Power of Attorney that I had drawn up before I left is invalid due to the shit heads not notarizing it. You'd think there would be a simple check list involved with this type of document, but alas either 1) there isn't or 2) they ignored it.

Either way, I now have to get to Balad and have another one drawn up by 27 Jun, because that's the day we close on the house. When Heather called the legal dodo's and explained to them that I was in Iraq atm, they said, Oh he has services there that are easy to get to so it should be no problem. She then relayed that to me and I was like, orly? I'm in the middle of no where with the closest American base being triple digits in miles from me. Where exactly was this legal service hiding all this time, because we would've put their asses to work for us!

So now I'm having to coordinate a trip to Balad to get this done. One problem is that for the past week all flights into the base have been on weather hold. The skies have been too dusty/ sandy/ mucked up to do anything but emergency medevacs in or out. What that creates is a back log of people needing to be moved, so my chances are looking slim that I might get out by air. What that translates into is that I'm now entertaining the notion of covoying to get there in time to get the legal work done so we can buy our nice little house.

For the record: do I want to convoy? Hell no. Will I? If I have to, yes. Am I going to punch a new shitter hole into my homestations base legal dodo team? You bet your ass I will. The fact that something so simple/ crucial to this document was left off that now requires me to make a danger run to Balad to fix their fuck up is not something I look forward to.

I've told Heather, half in jest, that should something happen to me as I convoy there, that she knows who to sue. Military members can't sue the military, but civilians can.

B Side:

This past Saturday through Monday I was on a mini-jazza. Jazza is the arabic term for vacation. It's the last little bit of time off before we leave for home here in the next few months. The end is rapidly approaching and it's starting to feel really good.

I've got a good idea for a Le Bleu post, but since Sunday I've been dealing with the mess above so I need just a few more days on that. Lets just say it's going to be a retro awesome post ;)

In WoW news, my mage has joined a new guild. It's a rather bold move for me due to the simple fact that I hate change. If I get into a nice comfort zone, I tend to curl up like a fat cat and nap there forever. But this change was born out of a need to try to expand my horizons and see new stuff. The guild I left is a guild of awesome people and great friends, though it's kind of developed into an alt guild.

The mains of most toons are in progressing guilds who do a fair bit of raiding and see a good bit of the end game content. As such, while I was in my previous guild I had a fair number of contacts who could get me into some of those higher end guild runs on some of the content they had on "farm" status. It was nice to be able to see new content, but it wasn't always the most consistent. Sometimes they would do stuff, other times not. I wasn't one to complain because I just liked being invited on the runs and seeing new stuff.

But over the past month, I've had a friend in another guild who was in a leadership position ask me to join his guild. They'd lost some of their members and were looking to add some more quality people. I was wanting to see more content on a more consistent basis. They also raid just twice a week for three hours at a time... sweet! So after talking with my friend who brought me into the old guild and explaining to her the situation, she said she understood and wished me luck (she's a great friend and champion of gnomes everywhere <3).

I put in my app, did a DPS test, conjured some sweet buns (you really don't want to know) and this morning I joined the new guild. Of course, I have Hurricane Legal Dodo up above that's threatening to wreck everything. It's not permanent, but it also doesn't leave a good impression.

"HI!!!11!!! THANKZ FUR INVITZ!1111!! I CN'T RAID NOW EVEN THO U JUS INVITZ ME!!!11!! LOLOLOLZZZZZZZZ"

Fortunately, the guy who asked me to join also reads this blog and knows my situation. I'm friends with most of the people in that guild too, so it helps. They know I'm not there to be a loot whore, but that I want to see new stuff and do it with people I like/ know. Most people on the server are pretty cool like that.


-M

Love me two time girl
I've gone away...

D&D Nerdery: Time Is on My Side and It’s like Groundhog Day without the Cute Girl

What time is it Mr. Fox? One of the things I have trouble completely understanding is the whole aspect of time in D&D. A combat round takes 6 seconds in game time. I understand that it takes 6 seconds and I can comprehend the time period by comparing it to real world seconds. I understand the idea that battle happens quickly – swords flash and bang against shield, people shift and dodge – so though the rolling of the dice make take 10 minutes, the battle itself has not. Times are listed for many other things, like how long it would take your character to walk to the dungeon from town. How long it takes to perform a ritual. How long a short rest is. How long a long rest is. How often characters need to take a long rest before they begin to feel the effects of strain and exhaustion. How long characters must wait before they can rest again. I understand all these things but I do not quite understand how they apply.

Do DMs count off the time a battle takes? Do they sit there and multiply the number of rounds x 6 seconds to arrive at a figure while they are doling out xp and treasure? What would be the purpose of such a thing? Why would I need to know exactly how long a battle took? Where does this apply?

Short rests are easy enough to understand. Extended rests are a different matter. Earlier, I noted that it seemed a character could just rest as long as they needed until an effect was no more. I was told that one could only take an extended rest once every 12 hours. Couldn’t a character just dawdle in the corridor, or return to town to wile away the hours at the tavern before resting again? Would the DM have to step in and create consequences for taking too “long” to kill the dragon, free the prisoners, or find the children?

I witnessed a DM step in this way during World Wide Game Day, when the adventurers wanted to stay in an inn for the night so that they would be exploring the dungeon during daylight. The blacksmith NPC was distraught over his missing children and insistent that the adventurers must look for these children immediately. He offered to double his payment if they did not delay.

You have entered an infinite time loop. The Keep over the Shadowfell is an adventure for levels 1-3. The adventure continues when the next part comes out and so on until your characters reach 30. The Basic Starter Game Set covers the first couple of levels. There is a bit in the DMG to cover adventures for the first couple of levels. I started to write an adventure, beginning at the first couple of levels.

In an ideal scenario, I would have created a storyline to take characters all the way through their levels with each adventure building upon the last. As it is, I have the information for 3 beginning adventures. What are some ways to handle this situation? Would the players have to create different characters for each set? The Basic Starter Game stops after they defeat the dragon. What next? Say, okay, now you understand some of the basics of the game, roll your character back to level 1 and let’s go play a real adventure?

Moving Blues

There have been many times when I have missed my husband during this last year. Holidays, birthdays, watching a father hug his son, days at the pool, going to the movies or restaurants alone, and of course shopping for our first house. Those are all somewhat significant moments in a person’s life but in spite of that I miss him most right now.

I have before me the daunting task of tossing out clutter and preparing to actually move. I jumped the hurdle of finding a home, getting a loan, making an offer, hiring an inspector. I am waiting on the seller to fix some of the issues found by the inspector and the official closing day later this month. In the meantime, I have to find these papers so I can write a letter to notify the apartment management that I am leaving. I have to throw stuff out and clean. I have to schedule movers and babysit them (there are probably military protocols that I will also have to deal with regarding the movers). I have to sort out important papers and valuables. I have to notify everyone of the address change. My head is swimming with all the things I must accomplish with a worn disc and not so much as an 11 year old still in the house to help me (he’s off enjoying camp and other summer fun).

Am I whining? I guess so. I just feel overwhelmed right now. We have what I like to term “flea market style” for our décor. People love it when they come over because there is plenty to look at but it means plenty to sort, move and dust. I also do not relish the idea of sorting other people’s things without them present. I think I would go crazy if someone else were to decide which of my things were important to keep and which were not.
I resigned early so that I would have time to do this; however, I need to get motivated fast. I have already tried to think in terms of baby steps and plan to go through 1 room at a time.
I’ve skimmed plenty of unhelpful blog posts and online articles with moving tips. I have come to the conclusion that I have moved several times before (and some of those have been on my own or mostly on my own) and I know what needs to be done. I do not need moving tips. I just need to do it.

WTB [someone to be me until August] PST.

D&D Nerdery - My First Adventure Conversion Part 4

Momma, are we there yet? In the next room, the original encounter set a trap door. An adventurer trying to open door would get hit by both the trap and a skeleton jumping out of the rubble. Okay, good thing I used minions in the last battle. This guy will be for real – at least as far as a Level 3 Soldier real. This could prove an interesting choice because the PCs could be complacent after the last horde of skeletons went down so easy. I used the False-Floor Trap again with minor tweaks to turn it into my Wicked Blade Trap.

Once the PCs deal with the one skelly ambush, they run into their old friends, the goblin archer and warrior. Next, hello, more locked doors. Next, is supposed to be a Minotaur. Oh no! I have to make another monster? In the words of Al from the show Home Improvement, “I don’t think so Tim.” I’m not that attached to the minotaur and his “maze” doesn’t look like much of a maze anyway. I decided I would stick with the goblin theme but to prevent utter boredom (sharpshooter, warrior much?) we’ll throw some totally new guys in here. I thought a Goblin Hexer and a pair of Blackblades might bring something new to the table. I couldn’t remember if the combo of controller with two lurkers was a no-no.

Technically, I supposed the controller and lurkers all would have preferred to have some muscle in there but I decided to make exception since the controller was also a leader who could incite bravery and there was also the terrain effect of a blood-red stone platform which adds +1 dmg to people hit on it (that I decided to leave as is).

At this point, I realized I needed to go back through and make sure to tally up the xp total so far. It looked like about 625 xp each for a party of 3 (give or take some xp depending on how quickly the altar or coffins were destroyed to prevent more minion skeleton spawns).

The next encounter included a gargoyle. Not again! The first gargoyle listed is way too powerful. Oh no, more math. Too. Much. Math.

At this point, it was late. I was tired. I’d been working on it nonstop for many hours (a little obsessive compulsive). I had no idea if it was roughly balanced. I was trying to follow along with the core books but I was nervous about having to go off on my own and recreate so much – customizing monsters (harpy), hacking traps (Wicked Blade), throwing in minions (I like minions!). Would it be too hard for 3 Level 1s? Had I totally screwed up the whole bloody thing? Was I missing some easier, less crunchy way to tone down the gargoyle?

I did in fact find a less crunchy way of lowering or raising the level of a monster. It works best within 5 levels. Gargoyle is too high for that. So I would have start over again. I scoured the book for a suitable substitute but eventually decided it was going to be a gargoyle, even if that meant math. (I need to make a cheat sheet for monster making because it seems like I have to look in too many different places for the info I need). I started with the standard array because it is, standard, and rolling would mean getting up for dice and customizing would mean…I don’t know what the hell that means. Standard works for monsters.

Gargoyle Level 3 Lurker
Medium elemental humanoid (earth) XP 200
Initiative +4 Senses Perception +7; darkvision
HP 25; Bloodied 12
AC :17 Fortitude 15, Refl ex 15, Will 15
Immune petrification
Speed 6, fly 8; see also flyby attack
M Claw (standard; at-will)
+8 vs. AC; 2d6 + 3 damage.
M Flyby Attack (standard; recharges after using stone form)
The gargoyle flies up to 8 squares and makes a melee basic attack at any point during the move without provoking an opportunity attack from the target. If the attack hits, the target is knocked prone.
Stone Form (standard; at-will)
The gargoyle becomes a statue and gains resist 10 to all damage, regeneration 3. It loses all other senses and can take no actions in stone form other than revert to its normal form (as a minor action).
Alignment Evil Languages Primordial
Str 14 (+2) Dex 16 (+3) Wis 12 (+1)
Con 13 (+1) Int 10 (+0) Cha 11 (+0)

This room also featured a fire skeleton that popped up out of the spider webs in the corner, should the adventurers look there. The fire skeleton felt tossed in there to me. How could a fire skeleton sit in cobwebs? The cobwebs would burn. You see cobwebs, you think spider, not flaming bones. I decided to reward my PCs for being snoops with spiders! It’s a swarm baby! I also used the conversion for raising or lowering by up to 5 levels vs the whole works.

Bloodweb Spider Swarm Level 2 Soldier
Medium natural beast (spider, swarm) XP 100
Initiative +7
Swarm Attack aura 1; the bloodweb spider swarm makes a basic attack as a free action against each enemy that begins its turn in the aura. In addition, an enemy that enters or starts its turn in the aura is slowed (save ends) by strands of crimson webbing.
HP 30; Bloodied 15
AC 16; Fortitude 11, Reflex 15, Will 11
Resist half damage from melee and ranged attacks; Vulnerable 10 against close and area attacks
Speed 4, climb 4 (spider climb)
MSwarm of Fangs (standard; at-will) ✦ Poison
+5 vs. Reflex; 1d10 +3 damage, and ongoing 3 poison damage (save ends).
Alignment Unaligned Languages —

I followed the DMG on raising or lowering monster levels but noticed there was no way to adjust things like strength, dexterity, etc. I wondered how you did that…I also wasn’t sure how to fix stealth on any of the monsters I tinkered with but figured there wouldn’t be much use for it this time anyway – I want to know for next time though!

Nosey PCs get a face full of spider but they are also rewarded for their efforts. Magic Weapon! Mmmm +1 to attack and damage.

It was time for the final encounter. Tusenmaug the dragon! Technically, he is blue. I think he’ll be a young white (statistically) though for simplicity.

Entering the next area, the adventurers find a goblin muttering about treasure. They could use diplomacy or intimidation here to get information about the rest of the area. One set of doors are thick and really locked, which forces (bleh) the PCs into a room with tiled floor. There are runes on the floor, 3 are glowing blue instead of red. The language is supposed to be draconic, so arcane or a dragonborn character will reveal a good bit about the nature of the tiles (summoning). Perception will at least reveal a difference in colors. They can hit them 1, 2, and use athletics or acrobatics to hop to the last. They summon a gargoyle. This one is supposed to only be vulnerable to magic attack. I’m going to have 3 people. What if one does not choose a wizard? What if they don’t find the magic weapon by looking in that room? They would be unable to fight this thing. Chance that they will find the weapon or roll a wizard? No, I need more options. Okay, so maybe the goblin has a magic weapon. If they use diplomacy he’ll run in and help. If they kill him, he’ll be holding the magic weapon they passed up earlier. If they intimidate him, he runs into that room and dies. If they check him out, they get his weapon and kick the gargoyle’s butt. Okay…add in optional fluff about something shiny...done.

They get the key from the gargoyle and they go into the vault. There is…another harpy in the vault. Seriously? No, no. Not another stupid harpy. Not another gargoyle. A guard… I needed a guard. Hello Iron Defender + Skeleton Minions.

Finally, the Young White (Read Blue) dragon. Oof. He looks tough. He’s in a room so he can’t fly. I took away a few of his attacks and debating whether to lower the HP. He is supposed to be the big boss of bosses though so I left it alone.

Young Blue Dragon Level 3
Solo Brute
Large natural magical beast (dragon) XP 750
Initiative +1 Senses Perception +7; darkvision
HP 200; Bloodied 100; see also bloodied breath
AC 18; Fortitude 20, Refl ex 16, Will 17
Resist 15 cold
Saving Throws +5
Speed 6
Action Points 2
M Bite (standard; at-will) ✦ Cold
Reach 2; +6 vs. AC; 1d8 + 4 plus 1d6 cold damage (plus an extra 1d6 cold damage on a successful opportunity attack).
M Claw (standard; at-will)
Reach 2; +6 vs. AC; 1d8 + 4 damage.
C Breath Weapon (standard; recharge 5 6 ) ✦ Cold
Close blast 5; +4 vs. Reflex; 3d6 + 4 damage
C Bloodied Breath (free, when first bloodied; encounter) ✦ Cold
The dragon’s breath weapon recharges, and the dragon uses it immediately.
Alignment Evil Languages Draconic
Skills Athletics +15
Str 18 (+5) Dex 10 (+1) Wis 12 (+2)
Con 18 (+5) Int 10 (+1) Cha 8 (+0)

Finally, finished! I still have concerns about how balanced the fights are and how interesting they are considering there are a number of one vs one fights in this encounter. Of course, I did throw in a lot of extra monsters on some of the fights

Now to wait on my DM Gurus to weigh in so I can tweak as needed.

Oops!

Oh No! Heather screwed up the layout. Bleh

Update:

I fixed.

I'm sure you'll hear more about this later. M wasn't too happy. He'll likely go on about how the colors were horrible and it was ugly and so on. In my defense I wasn't finished hacking the template but eh...

D&D Nerdery - My First Adventure Conversion Part 3

The next encounter pitted me with converting a crypt with an altar demon. The altar demon attacked with bolts of arcane magic (in a direct line, something like a trap). It also brought dead skeletons to life and one orc (only goblins in my scenario so far, so, goblin) zombie. Oh lordy, what have I gotten myself into?

Zombies and skeletons seemed relatively straight forward but what the hell to do with that altar demon? I decided that the demon functioned more like a trap, since all it could do was fire bolts from the altar in a straight or diagonal from the two squares in front of it. The Magic Crossbow Turret was a Blaster trap that I thought would suit my crunch needs.

The zombie was easy enough…nice Level 2 Zombie ready to go in the MM. The skeletons gave me pause. I didn’t pause because skeletons are hard. I paused because I wondered whether I should have the skeletons come out one at a time – as in the original – or if this would be an awesome time to whip out the minions again? There were 3 available coffins in the room, for skeletons to pour out 3 at a time. Was I going overboard on minions? I hadn’t used any since the goblin…oh only 2 encounters ago. It seemed like ages.

Altar Demon
Level 2 Blaster XP 150
HP 38
AC 16; Fortitude 13; Reflex 13; Will 13
Attack:
Standard Action
Ranged – straight or diagonal from 2 squares before altar
Target – any creature in blast (saving throw = half damage)
Attack - +8 vs AC
Hit: 2d8 +3
Countermeasures:
Adjacent can deactivate DC 20 Thievery (6 successes before 3 failures)
Can be destroyed

Ultimately, I decided to go with skeleton minions. The room would be utter chaos with the altar demon, the zombie and potentially hordes of minions but I didn’t feel it would be overly challenging. I thought I would try to give a nice reward for this encounter – a Cloak of Resistance (Level 2 Magic Item).

D&D Nerdery – My First Adventure Conversion Part 2

The original adventure begins outside a dungeon door with the players sent to rid the city of raiders by the Griffonford council elders. It occurred to me that I might like to establish this Griffonford as a settlement in the neighborhood of Winterhaven and Fallcrest (because I can, mwuahahah) so that if all went well on this adventure, the PCs could travel down the road to find new adventures in those established cities.

Once the hook is established, the DMG (for the adventure) lists a serach check and a listen check. These can both be replaced with a single perception check. Hurrah for simplicity! If the PCs forget to check, there is the passive perception check. Nice!

The PCs are assaulted by an arrow the moment they walk through the unlocked doors (the arrow would miss if the check at the door was successful, of course). A goblin archer and a goblin warrior close in on the PCs immediately. Now comes the first real test of the conversion process.

Goblins. Flip to 136 of the MM for the 4e goblin equivalents. There is a warrior! Hurray, that was easy. There is a…sharpshooter. He uses the crossbow so goblin archer is a check.

As an aside, the rumors that the ink is smudgy are quite true. Unfortunate.

I notice the Total XP for the encounter is 300 in the original version. I check my goblins and see I only have 225 xp worth of monster goodness. I have a good 75 xp worth of bad guys left.
Can you say minions? I knew you could. If I threw in 3 goblin cutters we would have ourselves a Level 1, 300 xp monster party.

This is a good time to remind everyone that my son played the first few encounters of this adventure. He will expect 2 goblins. Period. No more, no less. He will expect them in the same spot. He will expect the same attacks. The appearance of 3 minions is going to freak him out. P likes to dominate a game. If he is not dominating, I mean absolutely beating the stuffing out of something, he will storm out of the room to find something else to do. Can you say competitive? I knew you could. I have no doubt it will take some convincing to get him to stay at the table when those goblins jump out of the rubble but if I manage…oh the glee when he starts to see the minions just drop at his feet…he will be mine! Mwuahahah...ahhahah. Okay, moving on.

The adventurers have a moment to rest before the next encounter. Encounter 2 begins with our goblin friends the archer and warrior again but with the addition of a brutish orc mauler. There is also a trapped chest in the room. This original version awards 600 xp. A standard, Level 1 encounter for 3 PCs is 300 xp (such as in the previous encounter). This one is supposed to be a greater challenge but double the last seemed a little high. I decided to try a 500 Target XP encounter.

The sharpshooter and warrior combine for 225 xp. That left me with…oh God, math…275 in my “budget.” Gorg, the orc mauler, appeared to be the boss of this little group so my party lacked a brute/soldier mini boss. The nearest bugbear was a level 5 brute. I had the xp to spend but a level 5 seemed a little high. An orc raider could fit the bill except I would be looking at two skirmisher types. After much debate and page flipping, I decided a goblin skullcleaver (level 3 brute) would make a good Gorg. I still had 125 xp to spend. The original encounter contained a trapped chest, so I thought why not throw in a nice trap? Perhaps a false floor near the chests the goblins were about to search? I could put them out of the way so that the PCs had less risk of falling in before polishing off the goblins.

It occurred to me shortly after settling that encounter that a level 3, level 2, level 1, and a level 1 trap might be a bit much for 3 level 1 PCs, so I removed the warrior. This brought the level xp down to 350.

Lest there be any fridge logic, the chests were placed to lure creatures (goblins included) by the monster hanging out in the next room. In the original version, a nice young harpy was sitting in the nice room waiting to sing the PCs to their doom. First I had to deal with the locked doors. Easily done with a standard DC of 15 for moderate at level 1 + 5 because it is a skill check. The DC of 20 would cover busting it down, or picking the door. Now if the mage wants to scorch it or if they want to set it on fire…I suppose that would pretty much work for those as well, it is only wood after all.

The harpy that was supposed to be in the next room presented another challenge. It was not a simple matter of finding harpy in the MM and rolling with it. This would call for more serious modification because the Harpy I wanted (alluring song) was a level 6 controller (ack!). I needed to tone her down a bit. To do this, I was looking at building a whole new monster…kinda.

Footnote: I've since found the section where you can go lower or higher by about 5 levels without having to totally start from scratch. Oh well, it was good practice because the damned gargoyle I run into later will have to be from scratch because he's too high to just retool a bit.

After trying to make my head explore with math, I created a Level 3 Harpy:

Harpy Level 3 Controller
Medium fey humanoid XP 150
Initiative +1 Senses Perception +2
HP 34; Bloodied 17
AC 17; Fortitude 13, Refl ex 11, Will 12
Speed 4, fl y 6 (clumsy)
M Claw (standard; at-will)
+8 vs. AC; 1d10 + 2 damage.
C Alluring Song (standard; sustain minor; at-will) ✦ Charm
Close burst 10; deafened creatures are immune; +7 vs. Will;
the target is pulled 3 squares and immobilized (save ends).
When the harpy sustains the power, any target that has not yet
saved against the effect is pulled 3 squares and immobilized
(save ends).
Alignment Evil Languages Common
Str 13 (+1) Dex 11 (+0) Wis 12 (+1)
Con 14 (+2) Int 10 (+0) Cha 16 (+3)

Please don’t ask me how I came up with the numbers because my head will seriously erupt. It was a combination of the Harpy in the MM + How to Design a Monster in the DMG + Various parts of the PHB.

I wondered if my harpy wasn’t a bit wimpy when thinking back to those constructs that never wanted to die. It was true that the harpy would be the only thing in the room for the 3 PCs to fight but at the same time didn’t I have to temper that with the fact there was some rough terrain (boulders and icy water which causes damage) and her ability to immobilize? Bad rolls and all 3 could be stock in the icy water while she flew around them clawing their eyes out, right? Right? Of course, compared to the original harpy mine looks rather buff. Maybe too buff? No, no more math right now, onward. I decided to come back to that if necessary.

My Rebuttal to His... Rebuttal?

A Side:

ChattAssHat, aka Le Bleu, recently left a comment where he did much fist shaking and chest pounding. Now to say that this is typical of the French would be an obvious response but it bears repeating: this is typical of the French! It's made even more comical because he's French- Candian.

What honestly piqued my curiosity though was the nagging feeling that I'd seen him someplace before. I was sure I had seen him before. It took me all day, but I finally placed him. The last time I saw him he was robbing a bank! Luckily Mr Incredible was there, but it got me thinking... just why did he need to rob a bank?

The only reason I can come up with... more face paint.

If there's one thing that all mimes have in common, it's a tremendous amount of white face paint. That stuff has to be layed on with a trowel. There is only one other person who I can think of that has a higher cake to face ratio and that's high praise in the land of face paint. I'm certain that with the amount that they paste on, on a daily basis mind you, the make up companies are swimming in profits that can only be compared to the oil industry. bling bling yo!

Where Le Bleu will strike next, nobody knows. But I shall stay ever vigilant, always ready and shall have Heathers make up under lock and key. Oh yes... lock and key!

B Side:

This is how much of a black hole this place can become. I was scheduled to have four days off, the 9th through the 12th. I just... completely forgot about it until today when I was like... oh yeah! So I'm taking tomorrow through Monday off. Woot!

Now does this mean I really have the days off? Sure... as long as they don't need me for something. We're all pretty good about not bothering people on their day off unless it's really necessary. I managed to not blow the servers up for the month that V was gone, so when he goes on his four day, it'll be no biggie. By the same token, he won't blow up any cell phones or radios, so we're set.

Even though they say you can't make up lost sleep, I shall endevor to try.


-M

Never gonna stop me
never gonna stop
Never gonna stop me
never gonna stop

D&D Nerdery – My First Adventure Conversion Part I

My first real experience with Dungeons and Dragons was with my 12 year old son, henceforth known as P. I fell into the role of DM mostly because I have more patience when reading instructions and frankly, P just wanted to kick butt, not read rules. Unfortunately, I was so extremely green that I committed all the many sins of a horrible DM. I did not let him spot check because the book didn’t say anything about spot checking! I railroaded him along. Additionally, the starter set box said 2-5 players. We had 2! We were set!

Not quiet so. The box might have said 2-5 players but the adventure had 4 characters and a DM in mind, consequently P often found himself on the other end of the butt kicking and I didn’t know how to adjust things to compensate. It was a shame because the adventure seemed pretty fun and I would have liked for us to see it through.

Soon after, I learned about the upcoming release of the 4th Edition which touted itself as new user friendly. I decided we would try to play D&D again when the new rules came out and I maybe, kinda, sorta, stood a chance of understanding them.

Here we are! The new edition is out! I’m still very green but I’ve learned many things already. I keep wondering if there is a leak in the ole noggin somewhere because I have to keep reading things over and over and still cannot seem to retain them all. That aside I look forward to trying things out with P again, especially after reading this adventure report written by a Dungeon Master playing the new edition with his young son (It’s great, you must read it if you have not already. I laughed, I cried, I cheered!). Their play inspired me to relax. This isn’t a game of rules set in stone. It is flexible. That flexibility is part of what makes it great for players and the DM – the DM may have written the adventure but even he never knows where it will go. There will be no rules lawyers at my table. No contest regulations. No experienced gamers standing at the ready to point out mistakes. It should not be as much about do it right, as do it fun.

(Of course, I’m anal retentive and would like to do it right and fun!)

I am determined to see this original adventure through. We were having fun playing it but it was too difficult under the circumstances. I am going to take another shot at it. Heather’s gonna hack herself an adventure!

(Next up, DM Noobcakes begins to hack)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

It's the boys birthday today. He's twelve. I miss him so much. We're going to have some serious celebrating when I get back; make ups for his b-day, Heathers and mine. I think a trip to Carowinds, or something equally as fun, is in order.

He's at camp this week, but one of the cool things is that you can leave email messages that they print out for them. I just left him his B-Day wishes. They also take tons and tons of photos which they then put up on their site for you to look through. He's in a few of the pictures and he looks like he's having fun. He's grown his hair out more since I saw him in April. Looks good.

Yes, until I get out of the military, I live my hair dreams through my son with reckless abandon.


-M

Pretty young
pretty pretty young thing
pretty young thing

Nemesis

A Side:

It has come to my attention that I have a Nemesis! I find this an extremely cool thing as it finally propels me into the league of superheros and villians. With that being said, we now have to define which side each is on.

It has come to my attention, through various secret and thoroughly entrenched sources, that ChattyAssHat is in fact French. Not just French, but French-Canadian! It wasn't bad enough to be part of le bleu, but he's also part of the that great northern wasteland that sits right above America taking up precious parking garage space. And lord knows with all of the rotting SUVs that we now have junking up car dealer lots, both new and used, that we have to have some place to store all of that. Canada fits the bill just fine I would say.

One must also consider, what is Canada doing to help the world? Considering how our friend here is French- Canadian, I can only presume to think that he's directly linked to the continued profession of the dreaded mime!

Seriously, who else conducts psychological warfare like the French by putting these roving bands of mental assasins on each street corner to terrify kids and old people alike?

The French- Canadian version includes a beer in hand; past that, they're the same!

I could go into whole, "Candian video gamers are on the same level as monkeys banging keyboards", but I think the clear evidence that I've already presented shows exactly whos side I'm on. Clearly Superman, Batman and the X-Men will be thrilled to find out I'm showing up to work along side of them come Monday morning. Now to figure out what my costume shall look like...

B Side:

Another one of the milblogs I've discovered is Another Iraq Casualty. It's another fairly well written blog from a fellow ILO (in leiu of) companion. Reason I'm linking it is because todays article harkens back to a time when people actually thought their decisions all the way through. As in, if we do this, then this will happen and we'll have to respond in this way.

The other reason I'm posting this is because I've had a similar piece lined to do, but I've been really lazy about getting it out. The piece is from General Norman Schwarzkopf's autobiography and it says just about the same thing as the Dick Cheney piece. It's eerily prescient and one wonders why we don't listen to people with experience on the subject.

I'll have a post up about in the next few days.

For everyone just waking up, happy hump day! It's almost my weekend and it can't come soon enough!


-M

We got a time bomb, we got a time bomb, we got a time bomb
nah nah nah nah

D&D Nerdery - Kick Em When They're Down

I am still slowly but surely working my way through the DMG (for the uninitiated that is a Dungeon Master’s Guide – a book about running D&D games). The sections on 3d combat were somewhat confusing to me – most likely because I could not quite visualize what the book was saying about how to track spaces above and below. I read the section on disease and it seemed to me that a diseased person would probably just keep taking “extended rests” so that they could roll endurance over and over until they were cured or killed.

I watched the DMs very carefully during the Game Day event. I studied their every move – analyzing and critiquing so that I might learn how to DM myself. I also watched them for differences in style – how did the same exact published scenario differ in the hands of someone else? Were there things I could have handled differently?

I’ve already noted in previous posts some of the issues I had with these two. Reading the DMG lead me to a few more observations about the way they handled the games. I am not attacking the two gentlemen specifically, as people or DMs. Everyone had a good time. I am simply using this experience as a learning tool.

Kick them while they’re down. The DMG advises the DM to turn the focus of the monster’s wrath to other players when the player they were attacking becomes unconscious. The Fumbles DM (as he will henceforth be named) seemed intent on attacking a player that had fallen. There was a dead PC and three unconscious PCs by this point in the encounter. Two monsters were left (skeleton and construct). I had to race across the room to engage the skeleton stabbing the dying guy. Fortunately, I killed the skeleton in one enraged blow and was then able to stabilize the two dying PCs at his feet before zipping back across for a similar action against the construct standing over the last PC. I have mixed feelings about the kick them while they’re down decision of the DM. On the one hand, I cannot understand why he was set on killing everyone off (except that it was a one adventure scenario, so the events here would not have larger consequences). On the other hand, it allowed for some of my most heroic moments of the adventure where I’d spent much of it tripping over my beard and hitting myself in the head. I destroyed both creatures while stabilizing my friends.

WTF is with the XP? Both DMs (Fumbles and Bumbles) were weird about XP. They awarded XP according to who actually hit the monster. If you took a swing at the monster, you were awarded XP. If you did not take a swing at that particular monster because you were busy flanking another monster, you did not get XP for the monster you did not actually hit. The DMs did not actually track who hit which monster so this method of XP rewarding became rather silly as people had to try to piece together who hit what.

Additionally, there was a lot of complaining about how unfair this type of XP rewarding was to melee characters. Ranged characters could get a whack on all monsters on the field where melee could not. This would give ranged characters a huge advantage. I questioned why you would divide the XP in this way. Each person there helped overcome the obstacle in some way, therefore should be granted equal XP. The players would all advance at the same rate and no advantage would be given to a particular type of player (ranged).

I wanted to say that they were doing XP weird because there needed to be a winner of the scenario so that a prize could be awarded. However, Fumbles and Bumbles tried to explain why equal division of XP would not work – a point I completely missed. I later read the DMG which says “simply divide the xp total for the encounter by the number of characters present” on page 41. In this case, I will thumb my nose at their stupidity because they made a big issue over nothing and in doing so may have warded off a couple people on the fence about 4th Edition.

I'm a Retard

A/ B Side:

I can't get my Twitter subscription onto the blog as a widget. I tried for about forty five mintues, then just said screw it! I'll have Heather look at it in a little bit. I tried redoing the coding, but it would then over write her Twitter post with mine. I <3 computers!

The Craptain stole my TV yesterday. I have a feeling we're going to exchange fist-a-cuffs soon.


-M

When you see me on your block, call the police
let the motherfuckers know here comes the beast

*Update:

Just so that you know that all is not doom and gloom today, it was favorite food day, Mexican, with the added bonus of cheese sticks! This is how well my addiction to them are known: as the food server behind the counter (he's usually the same guy behind that section of the counter everyday he works) sees me come in the door, he automatically grabs a bowl, fills it with six cheese sticks, pours marinara sauce over them and has them ready by the time I've grabbed my tray, package of platic utencils and plate, and have walked the additonal three steps to get to him.

He knows this even when we don't have cheese sticks for up to four/ five weeks at a time, which is the norm. He remembers me!

This man is my crack dealer and I'm powerless before his fried drug.

**Update #2:

They had cheese sticks for dinner. My dealer was there. Is there a 12 step program for cheese stick addiction?

Hi, my name is Mike. I love fried cheese sticks.

You Don't Get A Title Today

A Side:

Not much to pass on from the planet of the twin binary suns. Like I said before, we're starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel (fuck you Andrew Loyd Webber!) and we're wrapping up projects while making sure the Craptain doesn't start new ones. That last one is really hard. He told us last September that he didn't want us starting any new requests, or major ordeals, past June and he's trying his damnedest to do just that. We've reminded him of that several times. I'll keep you updated on how it goes.

We've been told that our replacements have started CST (Combat Survival Training) at Ft Riley a few days ago which is good. Of course we're really worried because we know how much bullshit training they're going to go through, plus the additional worthless bullshit training that the Army will try to make them go through once the get in theater (Camp Beuhring/ Phoenix Academy... those were collosal wastes of time). Couple all the bullshit training time with travel time and we're a bit concerned that we're going to have to spend more time here than what is really needed.

V and I really want to get ahold of our replacement and find out whis his/ her background is like. Notice how I'm using the singular there? Both of us, with our two different backgrounds (radio comm vs computer comm) are being replaced by an admin troop. Yes, an admin troop. We saw the proposal from higher headquarters on how they're retooling these teams into leaner/ tighter groups. I saw who was suppose to be replacing us and I just laughed my ass off. This poor person is going to be so fucked that it's not even funny.

We have a guy like that on our team currently. If I were to sit him in front of my comm gear and tell him to make it ready for the convoy heading out in an hour, you'd have cans with string strung between all the trucks as your "radios". Also, if we stuck him down in the server room and said, the exchange server just took a shit, fix it! he'd basically laugh at you then head outside to smoke, because that would be just as beneficial as him trying to "fix it".

One of the things that the big cheese has tasked us to do is write continuity folders for the incoming team on our jobs. That's standard proceedure, but for V and I it's a rather daunting task. More so on his part because how do you explain server side upkeep/ maintenance to someone that's just allowed to reset passwords and write awards/ decoration/ secretary shit? Mines no small task either, but a lot of mine involving the programming of the radios is simple plug numbers into the computer program and hit enter to program the radio (it's more involved that than; you have to know what to plug in to make it work, but that will have to be in the book too). It's when something fucks up, like radios 1, 3, 6 and 7 talk to each other, radios 2, 4, 5, and 8 talk to each other, but neither group will talk to the other... they'll have no damn clue as to what to do. I can give basic troubleshooting tips, but sometimes it's something obscure that only knowledge of the systems that you have will fix it.

Anyways, we're writing our continuity folders and praying that the taskers somehow get messed up and they send at least one person here who might have a clue. Otherwise the computer situation here for the team after this one coming in will be like the same as we found it when we arrived. And that's just a really really scary thought.

B Side:

I'm glad that V is the super huge D&D nerd that he is because some of the questions that Heather has, not only can Chatty answer, but he can too. He had a buddy scan his 4th ed. books into PDF format and sent them over to us. Yup, we have 4th ed too. He's been pouring over them like they were the last Playboys on Earth.

Which is a good thing because I can't answer the questions she has about this stuff. I'm glad that I have friends who can.

On a parallel train of thought, we're kind of worried about the area we're moving to. Mainly because of the fact that according to Wizards of the Coast, there's nobody in the damn state that plays the game! Apparently they have this LFG board for all the states and no one at our new base, or the surrounding areas has any type of games going on.

So now we're kind of worried. Are we going to have people to play with? Where are we going to find them? The base that we're going to, the town is real small, so who knows? Heather is mainly worried that all this engery that she's pouring into this will be wasted. Yes, she, the boy, my mom and I can all play together, but we were kind of hoping for more people... at least some around our age, or just more knowledgable people who we can learn from.

In other words, prospects look dim. If you know of some people in the Sumter SC or surrounding area that want to fling some magic missles, or eldrich blasts, drop us a line here. We'd like to meet them!

Final Thought:

(this is my Jerry Springer end of show thought killing speech... well not so much of a speech, just rambling)

ChattyDM shall now be known as ChattyAsshat in all subsequent posts of mine. He knowns why.

Be good to each other, quit letting your animals fuck without rubbers and that's... the rest of the story.

:P


-M

Angel girl
in a cold dark world
I'm going to be
your man

D&D Nerdery - Questions

As mentioned in the previous post, I went to the local game store to participate in the Game Day Event for Dungeons and Dragons. I walked out with some minis, a giant reusable battle grid, and a set of dice (I "won" a scenario which netted me the dice). I also walked out with some questions - questions I did not have the foresight to write down and my still-functioning-on-little-sleep-and-complicated-with-moving-slash-buying-house-details cannot completely recall.

I spent some time flipping through some of the Core set today as well as reading some of the DM Guide for the Keep adventure. My reading answered some questions and presented more. There are currently 3 that stand out in my mind.

1. Healing Skill - I think I understand now that one use of healing skill is First Aid. I assume that First Aid applies some kind of healing to an adjacent ally. How does this work? Does it use the other players healing surge if the check is successful? Or is there a die roll to determine the number of hit points added to the hurt ally? If so, which die? I assume this can be done while in combat as a standard action? Is there a limit to the number of times assuming the person succeeds in the check? Also, how is the DC for a healing skill determined?
2. Perception Check - This is a question specifically regarding the Keep adventure (potential spoiler). The kolbolds ambush the players at some point in the adventure. The DM Guide calls for you to ask the players to make a Perception Check with a DC of 25. I understand that you want the DC to be hard and 25 counts as hard but I'm looking at the premade characters and unless I just do not understand how the perception check works, it seems only 1 can possibly pass the check and that is only with a roll of 20. My understanding of the perception check is that the players have to meet or beat the DC. So, in this case, they would have to make a 25 or better by rolling a d20 and adding their perception modifier. One character in the premade characters has a perception check bonus of +5. If he rolled perfect, he would not be surprised but no one else in the party stands a chance. Am I missing something? Am I misinterpreting something? I agree it should be hard (otherwise there is no point in an ambush) but this seems just about impossible (for 4 premade PC people it is impossible).
3. Fortitude, Will and Reflex Defense - I understand that say an enemy makes a magic attack against a PC that instead of AC it might attack reflex. The enemy has to roll the d20 higher than the reflex defense figure of the PC it is trying to attack. Maybe this was a table rule specific to this particular DM (like the critical failures where I kept hitting myself in the damned head) but there were many times when I was asked to roll a d20. Supposing my Fortitude Defense was 12, I had to roll under 12 in order to be saved from damage. There was once I rolled in order to determine whether I took full or half damage. Is this a save roll? If it is a save roll am I mistaken in thinking that by 4e rules you just have to roll better than a 10 to be saved? My interpretation of the rules thus far have made it seem that the defense figures appear to be different versions of AC for different attacks and the save roll seems to be unrelated to the defense in this edition.

I'm going to make an attempt to write down other questions that come up as I continue to study the information. I am not sure whether to be giddy with excitement or sick about the fact supplements with more confusion will steadily be released just as I get a grip on the basics. 4e is decidedly simpler than the previous edition but there is still a lot of information to be processed and figured in - feats, powers, racial and class modifiers, line of sight and line of effect, triggering actions, attacks of opportunity, flanking, and on and on it sometimes seems.

I guess along with my goodies both bought and given I also took home the realization that it is not necessarily an exact science. One DM was pretty straight forward. The next guy used critical failures which sometimes resulted in an enemy bumbling his attack and inadvertently killing one of his own skeleton warriors. The exploding skeletal bodies created shrapnel which hit PCs (I believe this may have been one of those roll to see if you take full or half damage deals). It certainly made it interesting and I guess as long as the players go for it, the DM can be creative like that on the fly.

Dimble Bumblepants

If I ever have the misfortune of being a dwarven fighter again I will name him Dimble Bumblepants. I played a dwarven fighter during my first 3.5 edition D&D game. I spent much of the time on my face in the dirt somewhere. First my fighter missed jumping onto the carriage that was about to take off. Then I was later flung from a pursuing carriage driven by a rogue with no idea how to steer. I also played a dwarven fighter during the 4e Game Day Event. I managed to fall into a wall, stand there too confused to attack, and smack the hell out of myself with my own axe. Fortunately, I made a bit of a comeback when I later stabilized the 3 dying PCs before turning around to crit the construct and the skeleton looming over my comrades.


There was a lot of general grumbling. People did not like the amount of hit points and damage of enemies. They didn't like the way crits are handled. They felt the cleric was "screwed." I played the cleric for 2 scenarios and did not feel screwed though it did seem like I was somewhat limited in healing. Lance of Faith = Lance of Failure but that was a dice rolling issue. I seemed a bit sturdier than I expected which was fortunate.

I played with two different DMs during the event. They definitely handled things differently which lead to a little confusion. If there is a passive check for perception, does the DM need to ask you to do a perception check? Shouldn't the passive cover it? I was also a little confused by the way they were doing some of the saves. The save was successful if you rolled under your total save defense number. I was also still a little confused about the way death and dying worked. The time thing was an issue too. The wizard would "stretch" for a couple minutes and then feystep through half the walls in the dungeon, consequently finding himself in rooms full of enemies which would then follow him back to us. I think there were other things I did not quite grasp or maybe I just interpreted the rules differently but I'm too tired to discuss them right now.

It was interesting to see the same thing run by 2 different DMs. Their style was different. I enjoyed both. The difference in style made the same adventure play differently.

In general, I had a lot of fun. I picked up a few minis and I won a set of dice for kicking butt and now I'm going to bed before my computer blue screens me again.

Enter Sandman

A/ B Side:

I've been up since 7:30am yesterday. It's now 7:09am today. /sigh

Update on MSgt P: he got 5 rabies shots in his hand and 6 in his ass! Think about that the next time you get the bright idea to be helpful.


-M

Sleep with one eye open
gripping your pillow tight

Going on record now

A/ B Side:

I'm writing this now because I feel this strongly about it. I mentioned how on the plane ride back over to Iraq Heather gave me The Time Traveler's Wife to read and I pretty much fell in love with the book. It's just a great book. It combines time travel with a great plot and very well written characters who you come to care for. I connected with the characters on many levels and Audrey Niffenegger wrote a really good tale.

While reading the latest copy of Game Informer, on their calender of stuff coming out I saw that they had TTTW listed as a movie coming out this year. I was like... what? I had wondered, as I was reading the book for a second time, if they might make a movie out of it. I kind of dismissed that they would considering the all the time travel involved, all the characters and their relationships... basically the entire plot, I feel, wouldn't be able to be contained within a two hour time period.

But Hollywood apparently doesn't share my concerns because loe and behold, here it is.

I honestly don't know how to feel about this. Pretty much to sum up my feelings atm: they had best not fuck this up. I know that they will, but I'm praying that they don't. Anything of decent literary quality they manage to bungle/ mangle in some way or fashion. Most of the people they get to write these screenplays just suck, and after looking at Jeremy Levens screen writing credits, I'm just baffled as to why they'd let a hack like this near it. Seriously, he wrote Alex & Emma and Don Juan De Marco, and did the screenplay for The Legend of Bagger Vance. He takes credit for writing those two pieces of shit and for screening Bagger Vance.

I guess I do know how I feel about this.

It's in post production now, and they say it's set for a Christmas release of this year. God, I know they're going to fuck this up. If you can't tell, for books/ movies/ music that I love, I'm passionate about. I hope this isn't another Starship Troopers.


-M

To see you when I wake up
is a gift
I didn't
think
could be real

Cat Scratch Fever

A Side:

Today MSgt P tried to do a good thing. He tried to help a poor cat that had gotten tangled up in some netting outside of our building. He went outside, heard the poor thing yowling and did what most of us would do, which is give it its freedom. Too bad for MSgt P.

In the process of cutting the cat out, which had it's right front leg extended straight out and it's head trapped against it, as he cut the cat out, he managed to free it's head just enough for the cat to turn and bite the shit out of his hand. The cat managed to wriggle out after that, but now P has to go and get rabies shots at Balad.

While I can see this incident as a metaphor for our entire time here in Iraq, I'll just leave you readers with this simple moral: this is why they tell us not to mess with the local pussy. Because you end up having to get shots, and nobody likes shots.

B Side:

How do you guys like the poster above? We were sent about twenty four altered posters of famous wartime posters that reflect our current views of the military. I wouldn't say exactly reflected our views, but I honestly laughed my ass off at each and every one of them. Over the next twenty three posts of mine, I'll put a new one in.

I really like the house we're about to buy. I had to send in a bunch of paperwork the other day to the VA home loan people, like my LES (Leave and Earnings Statement- think of it like a pay stub that tells you how much taxes have been taken out, what direct deposits you have, how many days of vacation you took/ still have, etc...) and Proof of Service statement. The person that's working our case with that is a really nice lady and has been really helpful.

The house overall seems to be in really good shape. We're going to have the inspection done here in the next couple of days. The only gripe that we both have is the "pink stink" bathroom. (quote taken directly from Heathers IM messaging with me :P) It's pink... everywhere! It looks like they took Peptobismal, loaded it up into a Wagner power sprayer and just shot the bathroom with it.

While it's an eyesore, it does give me one of the things that I've talked about wanting: a project! While the pink initially burned my retina's and seared my brain, after the initial shock wore off, I started thinking of ways to renovate this area. I started thinking about what I like in a bathroom, the things I've seen before that I like and what I envisoned it could be. That's the thing. It's going to be our house! Our house! So, within limits, I can pretty much do any damn thing I please with it! HAHAHAHA! It feels good to say that

Anyways, I see us redoing it in a very clean, simple manner. Now there's not much else we can do because it's a small bathroom. How small? Well, I know exactly how big this bathroom is just from the picture because it's the same bathroom as her Grandmothers. I saw a pic of the bathroom and I was like... I've seen this bathroom before. Took about a minute of rummaging through still frames in my mind before I found it! Ah-ha! I said. Yup, exact same layout and dimensions, give or take a few feet here or there.

So I've been searching the intardnets for the past few days looking at a number of remodeling sites. We're either going to do tile flooring or install Pergo. The Pergo would be to keep in theme with the rest of the hardwood flooring through out the house. I'm still on the fence with that. I personally would love tile, but I'm open to discussion on it.

The pink tile around the walls? I don't give a shit, that stuff is coming out! Even if we don't retile the walls (which could be a viable option) that stuff is coming out. I'm also toying with the idea of maybe replacing the tub and installing a stand up shower with a sliding glass door, though I haven't sprung that idea on Heather yet (consider the idea sprung now).

I'm sure as you can tell, I'm excited. Heather's excited. The boy is excited. There's a lot of excitement going around here. This is shaping up to be a really good move.


-M

Who's goings to pick you up
when you fall?

Here we have the rare, nicely kept home, isn't she a beauty mate?

Friday continued to be dismal. I looked at 10 houses, all of which seemed like very little house for the money. I saw 70s orange linoleum. I saw add ons that reminded me of young children with no shop experience trying to build a treehouse. I saw filthy butter yellow carpet. A kitchen with a giant refridgerator. Peeling layers of wallpaper in horrid colors. Though it would be fairly easy to scrape off wallpaper and replace carpet, each of those things would add to the cost of an already pricey home. I went back to my room and resigned myself to the fact the home would be little and probably ugly.

Saturday morning I met with the realtor again. 10 more houses. A couple of those houses had some potential but still did not cry out to me - until we stopped by the little house on a street named for a unassuming bird.

The hardwood floors are in immaculate condition and extend into every room but the kitchen and bath. The bedrooms are decent sized. It has the prerequisite 1 1/2 bath. The kitchen is a little smaller than I would have preferred but I could see where some things might be done to create more space. The appliances look somewhat ancient but servicable until we are ready to update. The house is not full of ugly paneling and grotesque cabinetry. The bath could be updated from little old lady pink but in good condition. There is a sunny den space where I could see myself quilting or knitting. A third bedroom to turn into the library/computers room. It has two carports, one I could see becoming an outdoor entertaining area with some furnishings and perhaps the installation of a ceiling fan to stir the air a bit. There is an outbuilding for storage and one that could be a workshop for M. The house was in a nice little neighborhood centrally located in town. It is in a good school district within biking or walking distance. There is a little lake and a park nearby. There is plenty of neighborhood for biking. It is walking distance to a grocery store and some eating establishments (always good in a time of obesity problems and high gas prices). The yard is somewhat smaller than some of the yards in the other homes but the house was a lot of well kept house for less money than those other homes.

The realtor is going to see what kind of loan we would qualify for tomorrow and we intend to make an offer after we discover that information.

I am excited and nervous. M has seen a number of pictures. I talked to my mother-in-law about it and it has her stamp of approval. I can't help but worry it is kind of small or P and M will not like it. It had a certain charm and appeal that made me so very happy when I saw it. The current owner, and elderly woman being forced to move in with her daughter, was there tending the weeds in the yard though she is moved out. It is obvious she really loved the house.

Saturday continued along those lines when I ran into a couple old friends. I was finally able to make some connections. I decided to stay an extra day in case I was able to sign the contract to make the offer and so that I could have lunch with one of those friends. It was so lovely to hear several people offer their sympathy that I am trying to do all this alone and their help.

Today, I attended a new church. I haven't attended any church regularly since leaving this area. One of my friends is the associate pastor of something something design something - he is very involved in the music, drama, and other art of the praise parts of the service. Our best memories from our previous assignment here involved M's acting in a dinner theater and my work in set production, sound and lights. I can see so many things possibly falling together here.

There are many colleges looking for adjunct professors in the area. I intend to pull my stuff together and start sending them out to all the colleges until one bites. Cross your fingers for me on the loan, the house, and the employment situation.